While ‘talking my usual football ****’ to a Town fan in the ticket office, Derek, the assistant groundsman, approached me with a real ‘****’ dilemma.
I followed him up into the Upper Findus seating area. He pointed at the stairwell at the Pontoon end, ‘Bird Poo’ he shrugged, ‘we only jet washed this the other day’. There was quite a lot accumulated there to be fair. Horrible stuff. He told me that he has to scrub it every few days because of the birds that tend to cosy up in the stanchions in the Upper Findus and rain their effluent down on the seats, with alarming accuracy. Looking around the stand I noticed the ragged, old tarpaulin (apparently off the back of articulated trailers) covering various seats in the stand. Derek told me we really could do with a few more.
So, a ‘****’ appeal. If any of our fans out there have access to (huge) sheets of tarpaulin to donate to help cover the seats from being bombarded with poo, please get in touch by either telephoning Nick Dale on (01472) 608008 or e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org